Adult ADHD: Difficulty Letting Things Go

Adult ADHD: Difficulty Letting Things Go

This is such an amazingly real article on ADHD and its effects on every aspect of one's life I had to share it in its entirety.  I have had people ask me what its like to live with ADHD, people who can't comprehend the struggle I live with every day so I found this article, which was shared by a friend on Facebook, and felt compelled to share it with you all.   The writer is brilliant and gives an honest, raw rendition of the struggles people with this disease face on a daily basis.  If you know someone who lives with ADHD or ADD please give this article a read, I promise it's worth it.

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree.

If you don't like where you are, move.

You are not a tree.

     Some people are more skilled than others at getting out of a rut.  Some people seem to think it is "normal" to be stuck in a rut and never see themselves anywhere different.  They become 
complacent and comfortable treading over the same ground on a daily basis.  Life switches onto automatic pilot.  Everyday could be described as Groundhog Day....if nothing changes than nothing changes.  But how do you get out of it when you don't even realize its a rut your stuck in?
     The ONLY way to break a pattern, not matter what that pattern is, is to do something different.  Some might think I'm saying you need to change every aspect of your life.  In fact, what I'm saying is much easier and simpler to put into action.  What exactly am I saying?  If you want to change your life today, do something different, today. Make this one small change every day for two whole weeks. By then it should become a habit that is easy for you to maintain.  Then in two weeks, as you continue with your first new habit, add one more thing to change. And so on and so on.  By the end of the month, you will have changed 2-3 things you used to do that didn't bring you any joy.  By the end of the year, you will have TOTALLY changed your life.
      I'm sure your thinking something to the effect of "That might work for you, but it'll never work for me."  or "Sure sounds like a lot of work!"  In both cases, you are correct.  Changing your life can't happen overnight. Unfortunately, time takes time.  You didn't become who you are today overnight, it took a while before your habits became patterns you were unable to manage.  But when does it end?  Only you can decide that.  Only you can decide when Enough is Enough.
     Over the years, I have heard a lot of inspirational quotes which describe this phenomenon.  I've chosen the ones below because they actually made me stop and think......

      "Change happens when the pain of the staying the same is greater than the pain of change." - Tony Robbins

     This quote reminds me that pain and change are simultaneous and interchangeable.  There is no way to have one without the other.  But when you decide that staying the way you are and continue doing whatever it is that's making you unhappy is easier than changing one thing in your life, you will find yourself in a rut.  The only way out is to change something, and yes, that something will probably be very uncomfortable.

     "If it doesn't open, its not your door." - Elie Klachkin

       I often find myself doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results.  I've also heard that this is the definition of Insanity.  Does this mean I'm insane?  Probably a little, but more likely it means that my perception of my reality needs to be tweaked a bit.  In other words, running into a brick wall over and over again simply because it feels better once you stop, might not be the best way to look at a situation.

And of course, my personal fav....

     

 

      

Gift of Imperfection

I'm not perfect. Believe it or not, neither are you. I realize this statement probably won't elevate my Popularity Rating and I am willing to make that sacrifice. Although it may seem as though my goal is to embrace my un-celebrity status by alienating myself from the free world due to my penchant for bluntness and truth, I can assure you, that is not the case. Why would I want to tell people to be more cognizant of their flaws & imperfections? Why should I care what you think at all?
Actually, I don't care WHAT you think, all I care is that you DO think.

 Take the time to dream. Dream big, dream loud, dream daily. Don't be afraid to set your sights high. You may not always reach the top, but you might be surprised how tall you can stretch. So many people allow fear to paralyze them into inaction. As far as I'm concerned, fear is the DEVIL. Unfortunately, it is an emotion with super human strength and an insidious, unrelenting ability to divert you from the task at hand.  In order to combat fear and overcome, try this simple exercise when you feel the hand of fear creeping up on you........Chose. Chose between these two anagrams of the word Fear:

Fuck Everything And Run  

OR 

Faith Endures All Rejection

Only one choice has power over fear.  

It is driven by hope.

 

 

Hope: /hōp/

 noun

1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

2. a feeling of trust.

verb

1. want something to happen or be the case.

 

 ANTONYMS of Hope:

doubt                 distrust             hate               pessimism           disbelief

despair               failure               fear                   discourage          inactivity

indifference         apathy              aversion          disgust               lethargy 

 

 

 As you can see, one simple choice, one final decision has the power to squash fear like a bug.  In the face of  fear,  

 

                 which will you choose?

 

I Originally posted this yesterday, but apparently I don't know how to utilize different "Pages" on my blog.....if anyone else knows how to find them, I would greatly appreciate the information.  If not, please check out my stuff anyways......There's more where that came from



EccLecTion Design Studio

Emotions vs. Feelings: what's the difference?

Many people use these two terms interchangeably, but in order to understand our actions and the reasons behind them, it is often helpful to differentiate the two.  A person's "actions" (considered to be a PHYSICAL response to outside stimuli) are often driven by one's "reactions" (also known as one's THOUGHT process) "Feelings" are cumulative and have been learned through past experience whereas "Emotions" surface as an expression of those feelings .  In other words,  Feelings are products of Emotions. 

Katherine Douville, a well-respected and gifted Life Coach and Energy Worker, shared the following explanation on her blog,  Intuitive Mind.

Feelings are ACTIONS, and Emotions are REACTIONS. Feelings are PHYSICAL, whereas emotions are MENTAL.

FEELINGS Include:                                                                                                                           Goose Bumps, Heightened Awareness, Ringing in the Ears, Excitement, Hot, Cold, Energy Rising in the Body, a Presence, Tears of Joy or Sorrow, Comfort, Nausea, Pain, Discomfort, Jumpy, Nervous, Feverish

EMOTIONS Include:
Anger, Fear, Surprise, Jealousy, Happy, Sad, Conflicted, Respectful, Greedy, Mad, Upset, Depressed, Confused, Appreciative, Frightened

Another way to differentiate between the two is this:  Feelings are Never Final, Feelings can always be changed by adjusting our physical environment.  Emotions are more easily described as the Word associated with the physical sensation.   Feelings are the whole, where as Emotions are the part.

How do we gain control of our Emotions and subsequently our Feelings?  Meditation......Free your mind and open your heart....In the words of Brene Brown:

Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating a clearing.  It’s opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question.

Looking for direction and guidance to begin following

a Realistic, Sustainable Meditation regimen?

Check out the FREE Meditation Immersion Training 

currently being offered by my friend

Zita at Happy Free Spirit

My life BC (Before children)

When I think back to my life BC [Before Children], memories of good times and good friends flood me with feelings of joy and longing.  I remember thousands [OK, maybe zillions] of nights spent dancing like a crazy person in the clubs of Orlando until the wee hours of the morning. Although my memories of those days are a but fuzzy, I distinctly remember having an absolute blast and being surrounded by phenomenal people.  

Don't get me wrong, there were a few times I'd rather not think about- Like being arrested for trespassing and assault on a Police Officer after watching my bestie OD [She lived so it could've been MUCH worse] Or the night I drove my Mitsubishi Eclipse into Lake Nona [No seriously, INTO Lake Nona] Or the night I came home to my little apartment, admittedly not in the best part of town, to find my front door wide open & the lock completely disintegrated [Fear instantly replaced by Sheer Panic] after working a late night bartending shift [did I mention, with over $300 in cash on my person?] Yeah, THOSE times seriously sucked Big Donkey Balls! Thank God- they were few and far between and even provided hours of laughter to my friends when I Instant Replay-ed them later on.

My life AD [After Debauchery] seems so mild and boring when I remember some of the outfits we used to wear Raving and even think back to some of the jobs I had [Gentlemen's Club anyone?] As it stands now, its been nearly impossible for me to justify my explanation against my kids partying and experimenting once they became teenagers [my daughter is a Sophomore in High School].  No matter how Parent-like I try to convince myself to be, no matter the disciplinarian attitude I try to convey, I find myself feeling like a fraud inside.  These are not feelings I ever imagined I'd be feeling before I became responsible for my own little people.

Reconciling these very real feelings with the person I used to be has kept me up on many occasions. I'm sure I can't be the only Mother in the world with a sordid past to transform her life AD. If your out there, I'd love to hear from you. 

[Before responding, please send your reply through your Kindness Filter.  Believe me, I've beat myself up worse than you could EVER do. No judgement or condemnation necessary.]

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well-preserved body; but rather, to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up and totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW! What a Ride!!"~ Hunter S. Thompson

 

One of those days

You know when you have one of those days? The days when, before your feet even hit the ground, the little voice inside says "THIS one is gonna be a bitch!"
I'm having one of those days today.  Not that I didn't wanna get out of bed because of it, I mean I've come to the point in my life that no matter what happens, everything will turn out for the best.  That realization came to me after many, many years of suffering and chaos, most of it self-inflicted too.  I guess you could say I'm hard-headed or stubborn- I'll blame that on my Mediterranean blood coupled with being raised by an Italian step-father.  [I haven't quite overcome the finger-pointing yet, as you can see]
But as I mentioned before, I'm certainly not perfect.  I still have days [like today for instance] that the committee in my head gets the better of me. And I have to work really hard to put a smile on my face and trudge through it.  On days like this, I try to remind myself that everything is temporary and I usually find out that I'm stronger than I thought I was.  Sometimes I have to take a bat to the speaker so its message is all garbled....... like the schoolteacher in a Charlie Brown special. Other days, I find it much easier to ignore the negative self-talk I hear. [I like those days best :-)] Some days, its as easy as reminding myself to breathe thru it but on other days, no amount of breathing could make me feel any better.
Somehow, even on those really crappy days when I hear a million opinions at the same time and my breathing makes me reach for a paper bag, i know that if I REALLY pay attention and dig deep, I can get through it.  It might be uncomfortable, it might even become painful and I'm certainly NOT going to like it.....but I will probably grow and learn from it. As long as I'm willing to put in the work.


So, here's a question: what do you do to get through tough days?

"Women are like tea bags. We don't know our own strength until we are in hot water."

~Eleanor Roosevelt