Gift of Imperfection

I'm not perfect. Believe it or not, neither are you. I realize this statement probably won't elevate my Popularity Rating and I am willing to make that sacrifice. Although it may seem as though my goal is to embrace my un-celebrity status by alienating myself from the free world due to my penchant for bluntness and truth, I can assure you, that is not the case. Why would I want to tell people to be more cognizant of their flaws & imperfections? Why should I care what you think at all?
Actually, I don't care WHAT you think, all I care is that you DO think.

 Take the time to dream. Dream big, dream loud, dream daily. Don't be afraid to set your sights high. You may not always reach the top, but you might be surprised how tall you can stretch. So many people allow fear to paralyze them into inaction. As far as I'm concerned, fear is the DEVIL. Unfortunately, it is an emotion with super human strength and an insidious, unrelenting ability to divert you from the task at hand.  In order to combat fear and overcome, try this simple exercise when you feel the hand of fear creeping up on you........Chose. Chose between these two anagrams of the word Fear:

Fuck Everything And Run  

OR 

Faith Endures All Rejection

Only one choice has power over fear.  

It is driven by hope.

 

 

Hope: /hōp/

 noun

1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

2. a feeling of trust.

verb

1. want something to happen or be the case.

 

 ANTONYMS of Hope:

doubt                 distrust             hate               pessimism           disbelief

despair               failure               fear                   discourage          inactivity

indifference         apathy              aversion          disgust               lethargy 

 

 

 As you can see, one simple choice, one final decision has the power to squash fear like a bug.  In the face of  fear,  

 

                 which will you choose?

 

My life BC (Before children)

When I think back to my life BC [Before Children], memories of good times and good friends flood me with feelings of joy and longing.  I remember thousands [OK, maybe zillions] of nights spent dancing like a crazy person in the clubs of Orlando until the wee hours of the morning. Although my memories of those days are a but fuzzy, I distinctly remember having an absolute blast and being surrounded by phenomenal people.  

Don't get me wrong, there were a few times I'd rather not think about- Like being arrested for trespassing and assault on a Police Officer after watching my bestie OD [She lived so it could've been MUCH worse] Or the night I drove my Mitsubishi Eclipse into Lake Nona [No seriously, INTO Lake Nona] Or the night I came home to my little apartment, admittedly not in the best part of town, to find my front door wide open & the lock completely disintegrated [Fear instantly replaced by Sheer Panic] after working a late night bartending shift [did I mention, with over $300 in cash on my person?] Yeah, THOSE times seriously sucked Big Donkey Balls! Thank God- they were few and far between and even provided hours of laughter to my friends when I Instant Replay-ed them later on.

My life AD [After Debauchery] seems so mild and boring when I remember some of the outfits we used to wear Raving and even think back to some of the jobs I had [Gentlemen's Club anyone?] As it stands now, its been nearly impossible for me to justify my explanation against my kids partying and experimenting once they became teenagers [my daughter is a Sophomore in High School].  No matter how Parent-like I try to convince myself to be, no matter the disciplinarian attitude I try to convey, I find myself feeling like a fraud inside.  These are not feelings I ever imagined I'd be feeling before I became responsible for my own little people.

Reconciling these very real feelings with the person I used to be has kept me up on many occasions. I'm sure I can't be the only Mother in the world with a sordid past to transform her life AD. If your out there, I'd love to hear from you. 

[Before responding, please send your reply through your Kindness Filter.  Believe me, I've beat myself up worse than you could EVER do. No judgement or condemnation necessary.]

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well-preserved body; but rather, to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up and totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW! What a Ride!!"~ Hunter S. Thompson