If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree.

If you don't like where you are, move.

You are not a tree.

     Some people are more skilled than others at getting out of a rut.  Some people seem to think it is "normal" to be stuck in a rut and never see themselves anywhere different.  They become 
complacent and comfortable treading over the same ground on a daily basis.  Life switches onto automatic pilot.  Everyday could be described as Groundhog Day....if nothing changes than nothing changes.  But how do you get out of it when you don't even realize its a rut your stuck in?
     The ONLY way to break a pattern, not matter what that pattern is, is to do something different.  Some might think I'm saying you need to change every aspect of your life.  In fact, what I'm saying is much easier and simpler to put into action.  What exactly am I saying?  If you want to change your life today, do something different, today. Make this one small change every day for two whole weeks. By then it should become a habit that is easy for you to maintain.  Then in two weeks, as you continue with your first new habit, add one more thing to change. And so on and so on.  By the end of the month, you will have changed 2-3 things you used to do that didn't bring you any joy.  By the end of the year, you will have TOTALLY changed your life.
      I'm sure your thinking something to the effect of "That might work for you, but it'll never work for me."  or "Sure sounds like a lot of work!"  In both cases, you are correct.  Changing your life can't happen overnight. Unfortunately, time takes time.  You didn't become who you are today overnight, it took a while before your habits became patterns you were unable to manage.  But when does it end?  Only you can decide that.  Only you can decide when Enough is Enough.
     Over the years, I have heard a lot of inspirational quotes which describe this phenomenon.  I've chosen the ones below because they actually made me stop and think......

      "Change happens when the pain of the staying the same is greater than the pain of change." - Tony Robbins

     This quote reminds me that pain and change are simultaneous and interchangeable.  There is no way to have one without the other.  But when you decide that staying the way you are and continue doing whatever it is that's making you unhappy is easier than changing one thing in your life, you will find yourself in a rut.  The only way out is to change something, and yes, that something will probably be very uncomfortable.

     "If it doesn't open, its not your door." - Elie Klachkin

       I often find myself doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results.  I've also heard that this is the definition of Insanity.  Does this mean I'm insane?  Probably a little, but more likely it means that my perception of my reality needs to be tweaked a bit.  In other words, running into a brick wall over and over again simply because it feels better once you stop, might not be the best way to look at a situation.

And of course, my personal fav....

     

 

      

Gift of Imperfection

I'm not perfect. Believe it or not, neither are you. I realize this statement probably won't elevate my Popularity Rating and I am willing to make that sacrifice. Although it may seem as though my goal is to embrace my un-celebrity status by alienating myself from the free world due to my penchant for bluntness and truth, I can assure you, that is not the case. Why would I want to tell people to be more cognizant of their flaws & imperfections? Why should I care what you think at all?
Actually, I don't care WHAT you think, all I care is that you DO think.

 Take the time to dream. Dream big, dream loud, dream daily. Don't be afraid to set your sights high. You may not always reach the top, but you might be surprised how tall you can stretch. So many people allow fear to paralyze them into inaction. As far as I'm concerned, fear is the DEVIL. Unfortunately, it is an emotion with super human strength and an insidious, unrelenting ability to divert you from the task at hand.  In order to combat fear and overcome, try this simple exercise when you feel the hand of fear creeping up on you........Chose. Chose between these two anagrams of the word Fear:

Fuck Everything And Run  

OR 

Faith Endures All Rejection

Only one choice has power over fear.  

It is driven by hope.

 

 

Hope: /hōp/

 noun

1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

2. a feeling of trust.

verb

1. want something to happen or be the case.

 

 ANTONYMS of Hope:

doubt                 distrust             hate               pessimism           disbelief

despair               failure               fear                   discourage          inactivity

indifference         apathy              aversion          disgust               lethargy 

 

 

 As you can see, one simple choice, one final decision has the power to squash fear like a bug.  In the face of  fear,  

 

                 which will you choose?

 

I Originally posted this yesterday, but apparently I don't know how to utilize different "Pages" on my blog.....if anyone else knows how to find them, I would greatly appreciate the information.  If not, please check out my stuff anyways......There's more where that came from



EccLecTion Design Studio

Emotions vs. Feelings: what's the difference?

Many people use these two terms interchangeably, but in order to understand our actions and the reasons behind them, it is often helpful to differentiate the two.  A person's "actions" (considered to be a PHYSICAL response to outside stimuli) are often driven by one's "reactions" (also known as one's THOUGHT process) "Feelings" are cumulative and have been learned through past experience whereas "Emotions" surface as an expression of those feelings .  In other words,  Feelings are products of Emotions. 

Katherine Douville, a well-respected and gifted Life Coach and Energy Worker, shared the following explanation on her blog,  Intuitive Mind.

Feelings are ACTIONS, and Emotions are REACTIONS. Feelings are PHYSICAL, whereas emotions are MENTAL.

FEELINGS Include:                                                                                                                           Goose Bumps, Heightened Awareness, Ringing in the Ears, Excitement, Hot, Cold, Energy Rising in the Body, a Presence, Tears of Joy or Sorrow, Comfort, Nausea, Pain, Discomfort, Jumpy, Nervous, Feverish

EMOTIONS Include:
Anger, Fear, Surprise, Jealousy, Happy, Sad, Conflicted, Respectful, Greedy, Mad, Upset, Depressed, Confused, Appreciative, Frightened

Another way to differentiate between the two is this:  Feelings are Never Final, Feelings can always be changed by adjusting our physical environment.  Emotions are more easily described as the Word associated with the physical sensation.   Feelings are the whole, where as Emotions are the part.

How do we gain control of our Emotions and subsequently our Feelings?  Meditation......Free your mind and open your heart....In the words of Brene Brown:

Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating a clearing.  It’s opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question.

Looking for direction and guidance to begin following

a Realistic, Sustainable Meditation regimen?

Check out the FREE Meditation Immersion Training 

currently being offered by my friend

Zita at Happy Free Spirit

My life BC (Before children)

When I think back to my life BC [Before Children], memories of good times and good friends flood me with feelings of joy and longing.  I remember thousands [OK, maybe zillions] of nights spent dancing like a crazy person in the clubs of Orlando until the wee hours of the morning. Although my memories of those days are a but fuzzy, I distinctly remember having an absolute blast and being surrounded by phenomenal people.  

Don't get me wrong, there were a few times I'd rather not think about- Like being arrested for trespassing and assault on a Police Officer after watching my bestie OD [She lived so it could've been MUCH worse] Or the night I drove my Mitsubishi Eclipse into Lake Nona [No seriously, INTO Lake Nona] Or the night I came home to my little apartment, admittedly not in the best part of town, to find my front door wide open & the lock completely disintegrated [Fear instantly replaced by Sheer Panic] after working a late night bartending shift [did I mention, with over $300 in cash on my person?] Yeah, THOSE times seriously sucked Big Donkey Balls! Thank God- they were few and far between and even provided hours of laughter to my friends when I Instant Replay-ed them later on.

My life AD [After Debauchery] seems so mild and boring when I remember some of the outfits we used to wear Raving and even think back to some of the jobs I had [Gentlemen's Club anyone?] As it stands now, its been nearly impossible for me to justify my explanation against my kids partying and experimenting once they became teenagers [my daughter is a Sophomore in High School].  No matter how Parent-like I try to convince myself to be, no matter the disciplinarian attitude I try to convey, I find myself feeling like a fraud inside.  These are not feelings I ever imagined I'd be feeling before I became responsible for my own little people.

Reconciling these very real feelings with the person I used to be has kept me up on many occasions. I'm sure I can't be the only Mother in the world with a sordid past to transform her life AD. If your out there, I'd love to hear from you. 

[Before responding, please send your reply through your Kindness Filter.  Believe me, I've beat myself up worse than you could EVER do. No judgement or condemnation necessary.]

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well-preserved body; but rather, to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up and totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW! What a Ride!!"~ Hunter S. Thompson

 

One of those days

You know when you have one of those days? The days when, before your feet even hit the ground, the little voice inside says "THIS one is gonna be a bitch!"
I'm having one of those days today.  Not that I didn't wanna get out of bed because of it, I mean I've come to the point in my life that no matter what happens, everything will turn out for the best.  That realization came to me after many, many years of suffering and chaos, most of it self-inflicted too.  I guess you could say I'm hard-headed or stubborn- I'll blame that on my Mediterranean blood coupled with being raised by an Italian step-father.  [I haven't quite overcome the finger-pointing yet, as you can see]
But as I mentioned before, I'm certainly not perfect.  I still have days [like today for instance] that the committee in my head gets the better of me. And I have to work really hard to put a smile on my face and trudge through it.  On days like this, I try to remind myself that everything is temporary and I usually find out that I'm stronger than I thought I was.  Sometimes I have to take a bat to the speaker so its message is all garbled....... like the schoolteacher in a Charlie Brown special. Other days, I find it much easier to ignore the negative self-talk I hear. [I like those days best :-)] Some days, its as easy as reminding myself to breathe thru it but on other days, no amount of breathing could make me feel any better.
Somehow, even on those really crappy days when I hear a million opinions at the same time and my breathing makes me reach for a paper bag, i know that if I REALLY pay attention and dig deep, I can get through it.  It might be uncomfortable, it might even become painful and I'm certainly NOT going to like it.....but I will probably grow and learn from it. As long as I'm willing to put in the work.


So, here's a question: what do you do to get through tough days?

"Women are like tea bags. We don't know our own strength until we are in hot water."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Book Review: A House in the Sky: A Memoir

A House In the Sky by Amanda Lindhout
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

  Amanda Lindhout is my hero.  Not only has she persevered in spirit regardless of the cruelty forced upon her at the hands of another human being, she has eloquently illustrated the cultural differences respectfully and civilly.  The manifestation of her reality apart from her perception of reality, adds depth and remarkable profundity.
A House in the Sky: A Memoir recounts the memories of a survivor and a risk-taker, the influence of oppression and the validity of emotions, the impact of terror and the tenaciousness of love. By not succumbing as victim of acts perpetuated by hate, Ms. Lindout
 
manages to liberate herself from the chains of trauma and become a guiding light to the millions of women suffering from unspeakable violence.

View all my reviews

Take The Challenge!!!!

It never ceases to amaze me how when I am feeling completely overwhelmed with all of my outstanding "projects" and  my obligations to providing my children with THE most fantastic summer ever, coupled with my own never-ending quest for sanity, and I get just about to the point of  self-combustion from _________ (insert appropriate self-destructive emotion here), somehow I manage to find exactly what I'm looking for.  Hold on a minute as I regress, as it is not my intention to minimize the struggle of day-to-day life by simply finding an easy solution by giving up.  What I am trying to say is, that when I finally decide that some battles just aren't worth fighting and CHOOSE to go about my day by concentrating on the flow of my actions rather than the result of my actions, my life (and subsequently everyone else's) seem to become easier to deal with.  In fact, most of the time, I even come across exactly what I was looking for!
That being said, I would like to personally invite you to accompany me on the 2nd Annual Challenge of Travel, sponsored by fellow blogger (http://treasures-found.blogspot.com/) and jewelry designer (http://www.tesoritrovati.com/), Erin Prais-Hintz.

Without reiterating the details of said challenge, I am truely excited to begin looking right under my nose, sort of speak.  I've actually lived in this little town for more than 2 years and have never even taken a stroll downtown thru the quaint shops!  I tend to venture out of the area to go exploring and even go window shopping, so this is going to be a treat!

Yearbook Chair Collage to preserve Childhood Memories

In purchasing my son's 3rd grade chair before the demolition of his beloved elementary school, the monies raised will help defray some of the costs associated with purchasing new items.  As it stands, the new school has been built an entire year ahead of schedule!  Bravo to the construction crew for getting it done so early!  My son was extremely upset; however, that we didn't purchase a yearbook for him. When I found out all the students had signed their names on the chair & had written notes to him on a plain piece of paper, it was a no-brainer for me to purchase the chair.  As a Crafty Mom, I immediately thought of a way to preserve the chair & combine the hand-written notes in a way that would honor the memory of  #JRBriggs.

The finished product

Top of the chair

Seat

The process of making this Yearbook Chair was quite simple really. It was a two step process:

Step 1: Elmer's Rubber Cement to glue the hand written notes to the chair
Step 2: Mod Podge Spray to seal the names written & the notes afterward

Step 1: Spread an even layer of  rubber cement onto the back of the notes & also to the spot you want to stick it to on the chair. Press wet surfaces together firmly. When the excess glue on the chair is dried, rub gently with your finger to remove.
Step 2: Evenly spray the Mod Podge over the entire chair.  Coat 2-3 times, waiting about 15 minutes between applications.

Enjoy your new piece of mixed media collage when completing next year's homework assignments!

The craft brought up a lot of feelings about my own childhood & stirred up some emotions I had forgotten about.  Do you remember what it was like to be a child? I often try to put myself in my children's shoes to be able to relate to them.  Sometimes it hurts (and truly that sucks) and I end up retreating into myself because someone has treated them badly.  But many other times, I try to empower them by teaching a life lesson I wasn't made aware of until much later.
To be honest, my son has had a difficult 4+ years on school.  He is very smart, although seemingly to smart for his own good, he often make really bad decisions. We have been called to the Principal's office on more than one occasion because of his choices.  It certainly has gotten better over the past year, but he still finds himself in a world of poo, trying to figure out where it went wrong.  Usually, it stems from his inability to control his reaction when he gets upset.  Like I said, he has grown leaps & bounds this year, but he is still far from perfect.
As a Mom, I feel like no matter what, I should make my child feel loved.  Sometimes, it is very difficult to keep my own embarrassment & anger in check, but completely neccessary for his further development.  Other times, I find myself using my own reaction as a way to look at the bigger picture.  All kids make stupid decisions, but they need to realize they have a choice to make a different decision next time or choose to change the path they're on by looking ahead to the consequences of their actions.
So what have I done differently to help him make better choices?  Like when he says something outrageously cruel and even threatening, but decides to be honest about what he said- I try to help him realize what he said was hurtful & he needs to make amends without berating him for reacting poorly to his own hurt feelings, and praise him for his honesty. I give him a hug & tell him everything will be ok.  I remember back to a time when I did the same thing as a child & how I felt when even my parents made me feel like they weren't on my side, which didn't stop me from doing it again, it only added fuel to the fire.  I don't want him to continue on this path because of my reaction, essentially the same thing I want him to learn.
Or when he chooses to go along with the crowd by doing something he thinks he may get in trouble for, and when he gets caught doesn't point his fingers at the others involved, but instead takes  responsibility for his part & accepts his punishment.  I also have a choice to make when I find him doing wrong, I can either flip out & make him feel badly about what he did, or I can use it as an opportunity to teach him Why I don't want him to (ie. cross the mainroad without a parent, go swimming in the lake without a chaperone etc.) & how I would feel more importantly if something horrible happened to him. I try to show him how much he is loved instead of making him feel stupid for following the crowd by using such phrases as "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?"  or "I said NO, and that's final!" as my reason for not wanting him to do something dangerous.
By showing him that he is an important part of our lives & that he has the ability to choose good decisions for himself,  he has chosen to surround himself with kids who are likely to make good choices.  He has had more friends over to our house to play, which I think has raised his self-esteem and brought out some really humorous parts of his personality that may have been otherwise stuffed down inside him.  He has not only grown in his decision-making ability, but has become aware of how his choices affect others.  He has developed his sensitivity from reacting instantly when his feelings are hurt & lashing out to being able to relate to someone else's reactions & responding appropriately.
I have always told him I don't expect him to be perfect, because I don't want him to feel he has a certain standard to live up to.  I want him to be proud of who he is & cultivate the differences in his personality, but not at another person's expense or performed with malice.

INCOMPLETE!

When I was in school, it wasn't uncommon for me to have this dreaded word written in BOLD RED LETTERS at the top of my page.....I guess things haven't changed all that much in a few decades.

Except now, there isn't anyone regulating my progress.  So more often than not, I end up with too many projects started & not enough gumption to finish them.  This lack of gumption can be attributed to feeling completely overwhelmed by the number of projects I haven't finished yet as compared to the ones I have finished.

Don't get me wrong, I DO finish things.....I just seem to start WAY too many to finish before I start feeling bogged down by "work."  My "work" shouldn't be labeled as such- another problem for my psyche.  My "work" is supposed to be fun, and most of the time it is, but I wish I could see clearly the point when fun becomes "work."  I believe that becoming aware of an issue or realizing where the problem starts is often times the point where healing begins.  

I'm one of those people who is always in search of a good time- even when I'm working- so it makes total sense to eventually turn my hobby into my career; however, in order to be successful, I need to start following my projects through to completion. 

Here's a question:  How do other artists/creative-types manage their time? Is there some sort of system- like writing lists & crossing off items as you go, allowing yourself a certain amount of time to complete a project & sticking to those deadlines, etc?

In the meantime- here are a few project I'm working on this week......

The first one is going to be a suncatcher of a shark for the owner of a restaurant I've been working at in Leominster, MA called Sharky's

Preparing glass for Beadwork

Day 1:The tail

Still Day 1: Different view of the tail

Day 2: More of the tail

Still Day 2: Different  view of the tail

Day 3: Body & Head

That's as far as I've gotten so far on that one- will keep you posted

Project #2:  Carved wooden sign for my son's 3rd grade teacher

My son's teacher has been very inspiring this year.  She has taken an interest in him and really helped to develop his character.  Although, he can be very difficult sometimes and even downright mean, Mrs. Cox has never waivered from being on his side.  The elementary school is being town down over the summer & a brand-spanking new one has been erected in its place.  I thought it would be nice for her to have a hand-crafted sign on her door welcoming her new students into her class.  

The last day of school is Monday- so that is my Official Deadline!  Check back to see my progress!

Name Stenciled on piece of Driftwood

Carving around the letters

There it is folks- two of my thousands of incomplete projects which will hopefully propel me into the action of completing them!

  

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"Nothing is impossible......"

"Nothing is impossible......

       
...for the word itself is spelled

         I  M  Possible."

 ~Audrey Hepburn

 Having the opportunity to live on a secluded island, located 4 1/2 Hours from my family (including a 45 minute ferry ride), for an entire New England winter, would probably drive most normal human beings absolutely insane.  SPOILER ALERT: I am NOT normal!

The time I spent on the Maine island of Islesboro was one of the most interesting span of my lifetime.  Seeking solitude, away from the drama that can occur in a marriage, was not an idea that I came to overnight.  It took many months of thinking, many years of dreaming about, and many hours spent planning before the idea become a reality.  First of all, I am a Mother to two beautiful children.  Most of the time spent thinking was on their welfare.  Would they be ok without me?  Could my husband handle being not only their provider, but also become their maid, housekeeper, chef, limo driver, scheduler, tutor, referee, disciplinarian and therapist, without accumulating resentment? Would they become resentful towards me when I returned?  

As my marriage continued to crumble around me, I reflected on my own childhood.  My parents divorced when I was 4, and they both remarried other people 2 years later. I went from being an only child (who was the center of the universe for my whole family), to having 2 built-in families, complete with 9 older siblings.  Growing up, I often wondered what it would have been like had my parents stayed together.  Although I may have suffered in some ways, I truely believe my parents made the right decision.  They were completely different in countless ways- from the activities they enjoyed doing to their nationality & subsequently the culture they themselves grew up with.  Both of my parents were lucky enough to meet, and later marry, their soulmates.  This wouldn't have been possible had they decided to stay together.  Because of their differences, had they remained married to each other, they would have been absolutely MISerable!!!  And I would have been more miserable than the two of them combined!

Don't get me wrong, my life certainly wasn't perfect, but I actually enjoyed growing up with two seperate families.  I thought it made me "special" and what kid wouldn't like having 2 birthdays, 2 Christmases, 2 graduation parties, 2 yearly vacations, etc. I had turned out ok as a product of divorce, and my parents survived it, too. 

Over time, my thinking evolved into planning, and I began talking to my children about my concerns.  My son, then 7, was the one who actually propelled my dreams into reality.  During a conversation one night before bed, we had been debating the subject, along with my 12 year old daughter.  She understood my reasoning for needing to move such a long distance from home, but we didn't foresee any possibility of it really happening.  My son told us about a quote he had heard from his first-grade teacher earlier in the week.  He said, "Mom, nothing is impossible, for the word itself says I  am Possible."  In that moment, I realized no matter what divided us physically, our love would transcend the distance.  That they would be fine with their Dad, and perhaps I was doing them a favor by saving them the heartache of watching the rapid deterioration of my marriage.  I could never have guessed then, how much I would change in the process or where I would end up following the separation.  But I am eternally grateful for my children and for the empathy they have developed towards others.

My Inspiration

This blog is gratefully dedicated to those who inspire my creativity, ignite my heart & challenge my thoughts.