...for the word itself is spelled
I M Possible."
~Audrey Hepburn
The time I spent on the Maine island of Islesboro was one of the most interesting span of my lifetime. Seeking solitude, away from the drama that can occur in a marriage, was not an idea that I came to overnight. It took many months of thinking, many years of dreaming about, and many hours spent planning before the idea become a reality. First of all, I am a Mother to two beautiful children. Most of the time spent thinking was on their welfare. Would they be ok without me? Could my husband handle being not only their provider, but also become their maid, housekeeper, chef, limo driver, scheduler, tutor, referee, disciplinarian and therapist, without accumulating resentment? Would they become resentful towards me when I returned?
As my marriage continued to crumble around me, I reflected on my own childhood. My parents divorced when I was 4, and they both remarried other people 2 years later. I went from being an only child (who was the center of the universe for my whole family), to having 2 built-in families, complete with 9 older siblings. Growing up, I often wondered what it would have been like had my parents stayed together. Although I may have suffered in some ways, I truely believe my parents made the right decision. They were completely different in countless ways- from the activities they enjoyed doing to their nationality & subsequently the culture they themselves grew up with. Both of my parents were lucky enough to meet, and later marry, their soulmates. This wouldn't have been possible had they decided to stay together. Because of their differences, had they remained married to each other, they would have been absolutely MISerable!!! And I would have been more miserable than the two of them combined!
Don't get me wrong, my life certainly wasn't perfect, but I actually enjoyed growing up with two seperate families. I thought it made me "special" and what kid wouldn't like having 2 birthdays, 2 Christmases, 2 graduation parties, 2 yearly vacations, etc. I had turned out ok as a product of divorce, and my parents survived it, too.
Over time, my thinking evolved into planning, and I began talking to my children about my concerns. My son, then 7, was the one who actually propelled my dreams into reality. During a conversation one night before bed, we had been debating the subject, along with my 12 year old daughter. She understood my reasoning for needing to move such a long distance from home, but we didn't foresee any possibility of it really happening. My son told us about a quote he had heard from his first-grade teacher earlier in the week. He said, "Mom, nothing is impossible, for the word itself says I am Possible." In that moment, I realized no matter what divided us physically, our love would transcend the distance. That they would be fine with their Dad, and perhaps I was doing them a favor by saving them the heartache of watching the rapid deterioration of my marriage. I could never have guessed then, how much I would change in the process or where I would end up following the separation. But I am eternally grateful for my children and for the empathy they have developed towards others.
